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How can I show up for my new mum friends?

Welcoming a baby into the world is an extraordinary moment, but it can also be an overwhelming time for new mums. As friends and loved ones, our support can be a real helping hand, but it’s also important to not be overbearing with that help. Here’s a few simple ways you can support your friend along this magical new adventure, whilst being conscious of their needs and boundaries!

 

Don’t show up unannounced

You can show up without just showing up. New parents are adjusting to a very different daily routine, often with far less sleep than before. Respect your friends space and always call or message in advance to see if it’s a good time to visit.

 

Tell them they’re doing a good job

Affirmation goes a long way. New mums are often worrying about whether they’re doing everything ‘right’. A simple reassurance can help boost their confidence and mood significantly.

 

Clean the house for them

By offering to tidy up and clean the home of your new mum friend, that’s one less thing for them to worry about and gives them more time to focus on the baby and their own wellbeing. If you don’t live nearby, you could offer to pay for a cleaner for a few weeks.

 

Drop around homemade meals for the freezer

Prepare and deliver some of your friends favourite dinners that can go in the freezer and be reheated, ensuring the new parents have one less thing to think about during their hectic days and nights.

 

Or gift them food vouchers

If cooking isn’t your forte, send them some food vouchers for takeaway apps like Deliveroo, or nutritious pre-made meals like COOK or Mindful Chef. These give a bit more flexibility and the new parents can choose when and what they’d like to eat. 

 

Look after the baby whilst they take a shower or nap

Offer to watch the baby whilst the new mum takes a nap, showers, or just enjoys some alone time. Even a short break can be incredibly rejuvenating.

 

Ask ‘how are YOU’… not just how is the baby!

Show them that their wellbeing is important too. Often a lot of the attention new mums receive is all focused on the baby, so a genuine enquiry about their own health, whether that’s physical, mental or emotional, can really mean a lot.

 

Do the washing up & put away the clean dishes

Tackling the dishes or loading the dishwasher can be a small but significant way to help. It’s one less chore on the new parents’ endless to-do list. Don’t forget to do the drying up/putting away too! 

 

Give them the newborn bubble space they need 

Understand and respect their need for quiet time with the baby to enjoy the newborn bubble. It’s the new parents choice if they want to limit visitors and outside interactions as they bond with their newborn, and you will get your time to meet the new family once the time is right – whether that’s in days, weeks or months. 

 

Send them a voice note telling them you love them

A simple reminder that your friend is loved and not alone, a personal voicenote can give lots of comfort to a new mum, especially on tough days. Be gentle and give praise, don’t offer any unwarranted advice, and remind your friend that there is no pressure for them to reply.

 

Organise a meal train with other friends/family 

Coordinate with other friends and family to schedule meal deliveries. This ensures a steady supply of meals without overwhelming the new parents with too much food at once and not enough space in the freezer.

 

Babysit their older kids

If they have older children, offer to take them out for the day or look after them at home. This gives the older siblings that special attention and allows the parents to focus on the newborn and themselves.

 

Or help look after any pets 

Offering to take the dog out for a walk, clean up after the cat or take care of any other pets can help relieve some of the new parents’ responsibilities and free up a little bit of time. 

 

Be a listening ear without judgement 

Be there to listen, truly listen. New mums may need to vent or share their feelings without fear of judgment, or wanting to hear advice back. Be that safe space of support and understanding during this life-changing time.



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