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“But who’s the mum?” | @FromWifeToLife on Mums Will Talk


“Our whole relationship we’ve had comments of “is that your sister/friend/cousin?” In fact insert any name other than partner girlfriend or wife! Although it’s frustrating, it’s not something that overly bothers me and I’ll lightly laugh it off and move on with my day.

Throughout our journey to have Jack the fertility team were amazing, never once ever slipped and said dad which was amazing and certainly helped Kelly to feel more involved in a situation that was heavily led by me! However that’s where it stopped.

From antenatal appointments to consultant letters, parenting forms and in baby shops the conversation is always “I bet your husbands excited, is your husband joining you for the scan, is your husband working?” Followed by “are you happy for your friend to be in the room while we scan you?” “Is this your sister? Is she here for moral support?” And so so much more.

Most forms will have a section for “Dad” and even when you highlight that there is no dad, the response is often, “well…just fill in the dad section”.

The first time somebody said “but who’s the mum?” that’s when I knew. I knew we were going to have this situation over and over and over again. Having to explain our family set up. But why? Why is it presumed that a child has a mum and a dad? What about families with just a dad? Or just a mum? Families with two dads, two mums, or maybe no parents and raised by grandparents, aunts, or guardians?

Why do forms say Mum and Dad instead of Parent 1 & Parent 2?

Don’t get me started on retailers and their insistence of only producing imagery around their stories of families with a mum and a dad, we’ll save that rant for another day, but it has to change.

The world has moved on and we need to move with it!” – @FromWifeToLife


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