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“The worst thing that anyone has said to me is “enjoy every moment”.
I watch stories of friends constantly claiming they’re “so blessed” and “never felt a love like it” when I’m looking into the eyes of my small, screaming child and thinking, not for the first time, was it worth it?
The answer is easy, it obviously is, but it’s like everyone is engaged in the business of “motherhood chicken” as my husband calls it – who will be the first to admit that not every second is wonderful.
We tried for close to four years to conceive, I have endometriosis and PCOS, and I had given up hope. Every pregnancy announcement pained me, every negative test, every period. Our life was good, we were happy, and I gave up hope. I knew IVF wasn’t for me. So we just got on with things.
Then, finally, it happened! I envisioned growing comfortably fat, people cooing over my bump, nesting, all those lovely things. It didn’t enter into my head I would have a terrible time of sickness, pelvic girdle pain and, ultimately, severe pre-eclampsia, all in the middle of a global pandemic.
Enjoy every moment.
Enjoy having to wear sea bands to get through a day of work.
Enjoy grunting in pain when you get up for your fourth wee of the night.
Enjoy being placed on a drip at 34 weeks in a desperate attempt to bring your blood pressure down and given steroid injections to prepare your baby’s lungs for early delivery.
Enjoy the guilt of resenting your much longed for baby for a split second when she’s screaming.
Enjoy feeling that you can’t share these moments in case people incorrectly label you as having postnatal depression, when in reality, not *every* moment is enjoyable.
Luckily, many of them are, but we need to stop presenting motherhood as a series of Kodak moments out of a fairytale and tell mothers that it is perfectly OK to mourn your old life and to look forward to others. Enjoy every moment…but perhaps not that one! 😉 “ – @beckyfirestar
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