“❤️ Being a Mum Without a Mum ❤️

Becoming a mother was definitely a mixed feeling for me, I know that’s not what people expect you to say but it’s how I felt.

I lost my mum 24 years ago when I was 13 years old and to say it’s been the hardest experience of my life would be an understatement. I was a young girl becoming a teenager, hoping to grow into a young woman and one day become a mum of my own but the one person who would guide me through all of it was gone.

For many years following this I didn’t want children because I didn’t want to go through pregnancy or motherhood without her love, opinion or guidance.

Overtime this feeling changed, never went away or got less but changed and I wanted again to become a mother. It’s not been easy but I’m so pleased that I was able to heal that part of me.

Since becoming a mum it’s been beautiful and amazing but there’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t think about what she would say or how she would be with my children, her grandchildren. I always want to ask her advice or if it’s meant to be like this. Get cooking and baking tips from her or find out what’s the best way to handle a tantrum or parenting moment.

I know not everyone is close to their mum or have them nearby but for me the choice was taken away and even though they say it gets easier with time, for me this couldn’t be more untrue as it’s only got harder and more emotional since becoming a mother myself.

Thinking of you today, like everyday ❤️” – @myhungrylittlehelpers

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