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We locked ourselves away | @thoughts_of_the_babies on Mums Will Talk

“When you are older
And you ask me how it was
I will tell you that
At the start
I stood at the front of a hall
And said there was nothing to be scared of
That everyone could carry on as normal
Just wash their hands a little more.

And later
I sat at my desk
And foolishly worried about exams
That children would never sit
And trips
That they would never go on.

When the fog began to clear
They sent me home
To protect the baby.

And for months
You and I
Played in our concrete oasis
Walking prams and toy crocodiles
Packing suitcases for imagined adventures
Feet dipped in the paddling pool
Living the way we could
But waiting
And sometimes
It felt like the longest wait.

One morning
I left you sleeping
And I went alone and afraid
Into the hospital
While outside
Your father flicked through radio stations
Unable to enter
His own workplace.

We returned to you
With a little girl
A little sister
Who changed our world
And our bubble grew
And our hearts doubled.

And at some point
In the hardest
And most sleepless of summers
they unlocked the parks
And we shared our story
With some friends
On separate picnic blankets

But as the nights drew in
And the light faded
We locked ourselves away again
Waiting for another spring.”
– @thoughts_of_the_babies


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